About 8 months after Kane was born my lovely friend Melissa got me a job at the Kodak store she worked at.
It was there that the notion of buying a digital SLR Camera struck me and stuck with me. I got so excited by the thought of a camera that my lovely Mr helped me buy one. I arranged it through the Canon rep so got it at a good price.
I was a complete novice.... I'd only ever tinkered with my Dad's old film SLR Canon Camera and had no idea what I was doing. So of course... I kept it on auto settings (I kept telling myself I'd read the giant manual tomorrow!!)
Into the 2nd week of being a fancy camera owner.. I was looking for any and all reasons to take photo's. So I followed the boys to the local skate bowl. And it was while watching my son through the lense as he walked about the park (with no idea I was watching him), that my one and only photo miracle occurred...
I'm still actually a little stunned by the shot. I remember on the day, when I saw him lean on the fence through the viewfinder .... I just could not believe my eyes! And then to see the actual photograph that was all lovely and in focus just gave me a thrill of a whole 'nother kind!
So here it is... my most favourite photograph I've taken (as a complete amateur).
I really think it's a one in a million moment captured. One that I am so very very thankful for!
Our truly beautiful boy with a beautiful soul to match.
My sister in law told me recently that she felt she got to know me more than all the time she's known me through looking at my art and reading my internet Pages.
At first I was a little incensed by that... but then I realised... yes she was completely right!
I'm not really very good at verbalising my feelings or telling stories of what's happened in my life. If I tell one person about something that's happened I feel like a broken record or I'm kind of bored telling it again... so I just don't tell other people that much stuff. Usually the one person I come across after it's happened or after I've thought it... is the one who gets the information.
And you know... this is going to sound weird... but it's kind of like my mind kind of just assumes sometimes that the others in my life know just through some kind of weird voodoo love information tranference thing ;) LOL.
But of course.... they don't... and I've realised how much I was taking how I was communicating for granted... just assuming that I was showing the sides of me I want to show... letting people understand my feelings and thoughts enough that they can make an honest judgement about me based on them. Many a time I've felt I've come across so dam stupid cause my mind was focusing on something else instead of the conversation going on or the question I was being asked! I've come across very scattered many a time I know that... weird the way my brain does that to me!
I can't even imagine some of the ideas or perceptions some people have of me based on things I've said.. cause they only get little tiny parts of the whole story. In fact I don't think even my family know some of the things about me that I really want them to know.
Many a time I come away dissappointed after a conversation with friends or family just because I felt I didn't say the right thing...or I wish I'd said this or that... or the story I was telling was cut short (usually kids :) and the moment passes. I hardly ever feel like I get what I really want to portray and feel across to people in my life through talk.
Or there's many a time when I know what I want to say and portray... but my weird kind of social interaction anxiety at the time makes it all come out completely different! So sometimes people get a completely skewed and off centre perception of what I'm trying to say or feel.
But with my journal/blog writing... I absolutely feel like you're getting the real me. You're getting the thought out... carefully constructed.... emotionally feeling ... and honest version of me. And to have this platform where I can express myself... well for that... I'm very thankful!
It also feels good to know that my son will be able to read this when he's older and get to know the me that was.... when he was a pre-schooler. Because I'm definitely not going to be the same person come a decade from now. I see big changes in myself in just a week sometimes!
So to those that I love that are reading this.... thank you for reading it... thank you for taking the time to get to know parts of the 'real' me. And for those that are acquantences or those I don't even know... thank you too for just taking the time out of your busy lives to read a piece of me.... I appreciate it. ♥
I have to admit.. it's a little strange sometimes not knowing for sure who's read parts of me that are very personal.
Sometimes I wonder... has this person read my thoughts on this or haven't they? If they have... does it change their point of view ... does it change the way they look or feel about me?
But then I realise... well if it does... there's nothing I can do about it... and there's absoluely nothing that I'd change about it cause this is me... and I am happily finally in a place where I feel proud to express it.... whether people like it or not.
I'm a person with many faults... one that's made big mistakes leading up to the here and now and I know I'm going to be making more in the days to come. Because those mistakes are what's made me... I actually believe they're what's helped make me be a better person. A more forgiving and patient person. A more understanding person of human weakness... of unconditional love... of forgiveness.
I'm actually thankful for the mistakes and the pain I've had in my life... in fact I've just now decided with all conviction & belief... that they're not mistakes... because mistakes put a negative spin on them. They're stepping stones... stepping stones to a better me. If they weren't painful or hard then I just know I wouldn't have learned anything! Because me being the procrastinator I am... I wouldn't learn the hard things unless I was forced to do so ;)
One thing about us humans... we definitely can coast through things if we so choose... without learning a thing... being judgemental and ignorant to so many things... and because of that we can be very hurtful towards so many others!
I think it's important to feel blessed if you're lucky enough to have lots of lessons thrown your way... cause it means you're strong enough to learn from them and you'll definitely be a better person for it!
No need to wallow in the self pity... in fact feel happy... strong and blessed to be chosen to have such things teach you the lessons you need to learn! I've finally been able to grasp the concept in all it's entirety and I can tell you... it feels bloody wonderful!! ♥♥
PS (And I've also decided I'm no longer going to feel guilty for being born a 'not squeeky clean' person. Growing up sharing a room ... my sister's side of the room was always clean and neat... and mine was always cluttered and messy. What can I do... Mum tells me I've been that way forever... It just must be me! :) Besides I really don't enjoy cleaning much! I enjoy the end results... not the actual process. And when I clean and it looks great for all of one hour usually!! I figure... I'll be a clean but cluttered person and I'll just work doing all the things I enjoy doing and then I'll have earned enough money to hire a cleaner! haha! - I wish)
**Back to Reality - Off to fill the dishwasher cause the sink is filled to the brim!!**
So these pages are made up of bits and pieces of my little creations from the past year.
I orginally sewed the thread through the page as a test for an idea I had for a poster. I was going to create a quote where I created the text by threading the pages. And the quote was going to be something like "Sewing the Seeds of Love"... I like the idea... but have put it on the backburner... for now.
And the flower below it is an ink doodle I did on A4 copy paper... with fineliner and markers. It was just one of what I call my "Japanese Style Doodles".
Then there's the two post it notes that I inked one day when I found this great quote on the internet. I love it when I find a quote that I relate to... doesn't happen too often... which is why I like to remember those that do.
This quote I thought was fabulous to stop any of those 'feeling sorry for oneself' blues :)
And I've added a song that I listen to so much... I just can't get enough of it! I really is one of the most beautiful songs I myself feel like I've ever heard. I couldn't even tell you the amount of times I've listened to it over the last year!
And the amazing thing about this song is... it still makes the hairs on my arm rise a little everytime!
... isn't it just gorgeous??
I could listen to Zero 7 when I'm working all day... both with either Sia & Tina.
For about 5 years now I've been keeping a journal. It's has a gorgeous leather fold over cover... and is about a C5 size. It's handmade with lovely soft hand made pages inside. It's got so many pages and so far I've filled nearly half.
It's a sketchbook, journal, scrapbook all in one. I originally did it with the thought in mind that it was a litte piece of me to leave behind for my son.
I thought I might share a few select pages from my journal on this blog on a weekly/bi-weekly basis. I hope you enjoy the pages. Pip ♥♥
Part 1 (Created 2009) This page I created as a way to show in a very small way what art & creativity means to me. Especially since my passion for art and design was re-ignited to a furious flame once my son was born.
I was given one while working at Macmillan Publishing Services over 7 or 8 years ago now. At the time it was published by a gorgeous Australian independent publisher called Duffy & Snellgrove.
As soon as I read it... I felt less alone in the world. I really wish I had this found this book when I was a lot younger. It was like I was reading my own thoughts.
I'd always wondered if other's pondered the same kind of thoughts that I did.. and reading this book confirmed that question and made me feel much more comfortable in my own skin.
What about you... any of these hit a spot with you? (the illustrations in the book are actually black and white. I couldn't help myself from adding a dash of colour) For details on the book by Michele Lemieux and where you can purchase it... go "here:"
"How cool would it be to unite the world through drawings." - Warren
I was contacted by Warren from Washington via twitter who has a wonderful blog called 'The Doodle Daily'. He kicked off a blog challenge to the world to attempt to get 1,000,000 doodles from all over the world with the end result helping charities. It appealed to me so I sent my following ink doodles through.
In case you have your own pre conceived idea of what doodles are... I just wanted to give you my definition of a doodle. I class doodles as drawings that start from nothing and grow into something. I never plan or do sketches or greylead outlines... I just take an ink pen and see where it takes me! I love doodling and it's something i do all the time. All these were done without a plan in mind... I usually start with a shape or perhaps a thought and see where it takes me. My most favourite doodles are the one's that can last on and off for days! (like the 3rd one did) The one's where I completely get lost in the moment... like I'm in the middle of a doodle meditation. Doodle's for me are the most relaxing thing in the world for me!!
When Luke and I first got together over 12 years ago we used to sketch & draw a lot together. I was studying illustration (only for 1 year sadly)… all the while having a huge passion for art & design… while he had a massive passion for street art and skateboarding. At nights he’d practice his graf sketches and sometimes I’d shade & color them because he wanted to learn new shading and shadowing techniques. We even made a skateboard together … he sanded back one of his own used boards and did his name as a piece and I did all the surrounding ink design. Fun memories!
We used to always keep our eyes out round our local area looking for the stand out best wall art and we found one of our favourite spots in Seaford through a mate which was trackside on the Frankston line.
Up till then…. although he loved sketching pieces and trying out new styles and ideas for lettering... he's not put spray paint to wall in a big proper piece fashion. Plans sometimes were thought up for putting them out there but none really eventuated.
Slowly through both being in full time work and having other distractions... I was in publishing and Luke started being a house/commercial painter… slowly that creative side and passion for both of us sadly petered out.
Fast forward to 2010 and I’m furiously being creative 24/7 thanks to my passion being re-ignited to a furious flame… first by my purchase of a Canon DSLR and then from finding and joining by far, the best community on the internet ► Red Bubble!
From this and my complete obsession… Luke slowly starts talking about and trying to dig out all his old pieces and sketches… I could see him wanting it back… I think especially when he saw how happy my creativeness was making me.
As if by fate Luke bumped into the guy living down the end of our street who he remembered from years back. He was in a Graffiti group called C.I. So of course Luke loved all the conversations with him… pouring over graffiti pieces watching doco’s on street art (especially in New York).
Turned out that this guy had access and permission to painting on that trackside Seaford wall that Luke always loved!! So of course he jumped at the chance when he was given permission to paint there.
Since then Luke has done 12 pieces in only 6 months!! All the time so passionate… sketching at nights… looking forward to the weekends when he can get to Seaford to paint.
And I have to say… he has a real talent for it! I’m so impressed by how good he was to start with and then how much he’s progressed in the short time he’s been doing it.
His graffiti name is Debaser... that dates back to before I knew him.
He chose it because of his favourite song called Debaser by his favourite band, The Pixies.
What do you think? Here’s the progression (I didn't include his first 3 though) of his work up to his latest piece:
This is his romantic gesture to me... sweet huh! :)
this one (below) is my favourite.
This latest piece (below) we're both especially proud of and it's brings back some big memories.
This was a sketch Luke did when he was 20 and I coloured it in. Luke found the sketch a few weeks ago... so it's kind of like a collaboration between us... in that we both had a hand in creating it... although he did all the hard work.
He keeps asking me to come paint with him... and I'm slowly warming to the idea... although I wouldn't do letters... I would definitely have to do an image/mural of some kind.
There's an awesome group on Red Bubble called 'International Superheroes of Drawing, Illustration and World Domination'.... long title... but never short on inspiration, things to do and activity. It's definitely my favourite group on RB at the moment.
So they started a fabulous collaboration project for members whereby the aim was to create the longest illustration! Basically we'd all just keep adding onto each other's illustrations... blending them as seamlessly as we could to make one extremely long illustration!!
Check it out... it's so cool!! Some incredible talent included on the list!!